


new blogpost!

by paccham



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Crack, Friends to Lovers, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Romantic Comedy, Roommates to lovers, Sexual innuendos, donghyuck runs a blog, mark lee with specs, mark's a hot killer on the loose from canada, renjun has no filter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-10-02 20:45:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17270837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paccham/pseuds/paccham
Summary: [hendairy left a comment 1 min ago]: wow this guide is super helpful bc i think my roomie is also a killer u__u thnx bro!!![SMUpolice left a comment 30 secs ago]: We’re sorry to hear this, please file a report with us as soon as possible.[huangster96 left a comment 10 secs ago]: ur a dumbass[markly left a comment 0 secs ago]: im gonna kill u donghyuck





	new blogpost!

**Author's Note:**

> haven't finished a fic in 5 months! pls be kind, this one's a little rough (and also a genre I hardly ever do which is: trying to be funny aka crack)
> 
> # hyucks not really a dummy, just a headass
> 
> #mention of a hard drug (c*caine) but only briefly!
> 
> # this fic is a bit spicer than ur average read only because there's a lot of sexual innuendos and some characters are super blunt so pls read at ur own risk

Jaemin squints his brows at the image. He swiftly grabs the mouse from Donghyuck’s twitching fingers and clicks on an all black photo, expanding the image to fit the screen.

Donghyuck’s Macbook illuminates with brightness of an image that has a series of odd white colored shapes and lines against a solid black background. Jaemin stares at the screen, “What the—“

“—fuck.” Renjun finishes the sentence, snatching up the bluetooth connected mouse and exiting out the photo. He finds another odd photo, and the heavy question of why Donghyuck’s future roommate has so many mysterious pictures lingers in the air.

Jeno clicks his tongue in thought, grabbing the mouse from Renjun and scrolling through the profile. “Are you sure this is his Twitter? Maybe Jungwoo fucked up.” Jeno grabs at the lime green sticky note Jungwoo had wrote out ‘@marklee99’ in chicken scratch.

“Yeah, Jungwoo’s handwriting sucks—“ Renjun starts desperately, pushing Jeno aside to type in ‘@markleegg’ in the search bar to find no one. “ _Fuck_ , I think this is your new roommate.”

Donghyuck stares at the profile with no selfie, only to find the default image of Twitter’s profile pic to stare back at him in a mocking manner. He watches Jeno furiously scroll through the profile, series of weird, old tweets of—what he assumes—random key smashes. Not to mention, his description says ‘here for a good time, not a long time \\(^.^)/‘ and Donghyuck just might barf at how outdated he sounds. The odd pictures of black and white objects and symbols are enough to have Donghyuck’s brain running thousands of questions in the few minutes he’s been logged on. Just what kind of crack is his future roommate on, and why did he get stuck with someone like this.

“It could be worse,” Jaemin kindly reminds him, reaching over to gently pat his shoulder because Donghyuck looks like he’s one more tweet away from having a fit. “You could have a… uh.. a straight.”

“Or a frat bro—“ Renjun pipes in with a smile. Donghyuck knows he’s enjoying his misery, if his cackle gives anything away.

“That’s pretty much the same thing, Renjun,” Jaemin shoots him an unimpressed look.

Renjun shrugs, “Taeyong is in a frat though.”

“But like Taeyong is the… _mascot_.” Jaemin wiggles his brows and Donghyuck punches his shoulder for that. Not about the Taeyong thing, that was true and the entire campus knew about it, but more so at the fact that Jaemin wasn’t taking him serious.

Renjun laughs at that, “What would the world do without Taeyong?”

“Usually making sub furry jokes about Taeyong makes me laugh,” Donghyuck rolls his eyes at the two, “But this made me feel worse. Congratulations, I hate both of you.” He snaps at them, Renjun only grins and Jaemin blows him a kiss.

“I mean, it’s true.” Jeno replies distractedly, reading some of the tweets. “He could have been a murderer—“ Jeno laughs lightly, but suddenly stops when he finds a tweet that reads _‘loved you too much, I had to let you go. kept a part of you, but I’m wishin I had all of you. boom boom, goes the trigger, I’ve killed you.’_

“He could be into slam poetry—“ Renjun, no longer teasing, jumps at the tweet and motions for Jeno to move along.

Another tweet reads: _‘been planning this for a while, wanted you to look your best. Flashes of red and the sound of sirens, eyes closed you look your best’_

“I’m gonna fucking die,” Donghyuck starts in rushed words and Jaemin is quick to snap him out of any future hyperventilation by flicking his forehead.

“You won’t, I mean…” Jeno clicks out and logs off his twitter when he sees more murderous tweets. Donghyuck watches him go to his history and clear the searches in fear, “Why would they ever let a murder come to University?”

“I don’t know, don’t they do background checks?” Jaemin asks, pulling out his phone to google search _‘can killers attend college_.’

Renjun taps his chin in thought, “Didn’t Jungwoo say he’s coming from like… Canada?” Donghyuck nods his head slowly, “What if he’s running away? What if he killed someone in Canada and he’s getting away, trying to live like a normal, broke college student.”

Donghyuck pales, “You can’t be serious.”

Renjun rolls his eyes and says “Of course I’m not,” at the same time Jeno says “You’re going to die.”

Donghyuck clamps his mouth shut and screams from the lack of conclusion he’s getting from either parties.

“I mean, there’s no denying he is a little odd,” Jaemin brushes some hair behind Donghyuck’s ear to soothe him, but his words aren’t helping. “Just stay on his good side, you should be fine.”

“This isn’t funny, Jaemin,” Donghyuck grumpily stares at his best friend, hands coming to cross over his chest.

Jaemin rolls his eyes playfully, “I wasn’t cracking a joke.” He looks around the room suspicious, “You know what's more scary than the dead?” He questions suddenly.

Renjun pipes up and says, “What?” at the same time Donghyuck grumbles out an “I don’t care, Na.”

“The living is scarier than the dead,” Jaemin wiggles his fingers in the air in a spooky manner, Donghyuck kicks the side of his leg. “ _Ow_ , _shithead_ , I’m serious! My dad always tells me that the dead are… well dead, the living are the real monsters.”

Renjun scowls at that, clearly offended. “This was just another excuse of yours to debunk my beliefs in ghosts.”

“No it wasn’t, but if it debunked it, then I’m glad I said it.” Jaemin childishly replies back, reaching into the pockets of his jeans to pull out an old jolly rancher. Donghyuck eyes him as Jaemin peals it open and pops the expired green apple item of death into his mouth, “There really isn’t anything to worry about, Donghyuck.”

“I second that,” Renjun walks away, taking a seat on the vacant bed on the opposite side of the room that Donghyuck’s future—murderous—roommate will reside on in a couple of days. “What if he’s hot?”

“I don’t know, I would still be super nice to him if I were you.” Jeno, naive and a bit worried, shoots Donghyuck a small smile that barely reaches its full potential.

Donghyuck purses his lips, “So now we’re letting ourselves die for hot boys in 2019?”

“You two can be like, um," Jaemin scratches his head in thought, abruptly snapping when's finally got it. He doesn't got it and Donghyuck is a fool for even inviting him. "Bonnie and Clyde,” Jaemin offers, a bright smile on his lips that reeks of sarcasm.

“Bonnie and Clyde weren’t actual killers, they were criminals.” Renjun rolls his eyes at Jaemin, swinging his legs on the bed.

Jaemin chews on the hard candy, disinterestedly he says, “Same thing.”

Donghyuck groans at the pair, turning over to look at Jeno. “Please help me, they’re both useless.”

"I have an idea," Jeno finally smiles with that bright look, eyes disappearing rather cutely. He looks sincere, so Donghyuck doesn't interrupt him, "Give it a few days, maybe a week tops, and if he's too weird you should tell Jungwoo about it."

He looks accomplished in himself, Donghyuck doesn't have the heart to tell him that he already decided to do that thirty minutes ago. "What if he kills me before the week is over?"

"That's possible, you're fucking annoying." Renjun jokes, immediately chuckling when he sees the way Donghyuck glares back at him.

"That's why you should document your experience," Jeno points to his macbook. "Always be one step ahead of your killer," He raises an index finger for emphasis of the number one.

Donghyuck nods his head, quickly sitting down on his desk chair, pushing his legs to roll over to where his macbook is. He swings it open, unlocking it and going to the google bar to open up a tab to a blog community his University has created for those who attend SMU. They all watch in interest as he makes a username (side eyeing them to look away as he types in a password) and confirms his email for the website. When he receives his confirmation link, he clicks and goes straight to the top right of the website where it reads _Welcome, hyuckster69! Create a new blog now!_ Donghyuck clicks the link and waits patiently for the University's wifi to redirect him to the new page.

"What are you doing?" Donghyuck can feel the judgement in Renjun's voice somewhere behind him.

“I'm starting a blog to document my journey—“ Donghyuck begins to furiously type away at his keyboard. “—also this is good receipts for when the cops find my corpse.”

Jeno leans forward and squints at the screen, “Donghyuck Lee’s Guide to Dealing with a Serial Killer Roommate. Step one—“ He abruptly cuts his own self off, “This is crazy.”

Renjun purses his lips at Donghyuck’s immaturity, “He is not a killer—“

“Step one: kill him before he kills you!” Jaemin shouts loudly, his candy flying out of his mouth and disgustingly landing on the desk near Donghyuck's hand.

“Oh that’s a good one,” Donghyuck nods his head, “Everyone, snaps for Jaemin.” He sarcastically coos out a praise, Jaemin rolls his eyes.

Jeno raises his hands to snap and Renjun pushes them down a bit too roughly. “Don’t encourage them!” He clicks his tongue at the three of them, "Are you being serious, Donghyuck?"

"Yeah," Donghyuck mumbles, eyes fixated on the screen and tone disregarding. Renjun smacks the back of his head, " _Fuck_ , ok no I'm not being that serious, but if he is a killer this could potentially save my _life_ , Renjun." He dramatically cries, rubbing the back of his head with a frown.

"Idiot,” Renjun huffs in defeat under his breath and Donghyuck smiles in triumph.

He turns back to the screen, fingers moving rapidly as he types. He voices out, “Step one: act like you didn’t do a background check—“

 

* * *

 

“Donghyuck!” Jungwoo jogs up to him a few days later with a smile on his lips and a box in his hand. “Go nuts for Donuts?” He raises the box.

”What?” Donghyuck lets out an airy laugh.

”I don't know, Doyoung wants us all to say it—“ He opens the box and Donghyuck plucks out one of the glazed donuts. “—and I would love to keep my job.”

On cue, Doyoung walts past the common room with a squinted look at Jungwoo. “Did he say the slogan?” He questions Donghyuck.

”Of course, he’s the best RA.” Donghyuck holds up the donut as a toast and Doyoung nods, staring only briefly before quickly rushing away when he spots Sicheng coming down the stairs.

”He hates Sicheng,” Jungwoo offers once he’s gone.

Sicheng kindly waves at the pair as he passes by, clipboard in hand, before turning away to head for the office room to get some work done. Donghyuck munches on his donut and wonders why that is, but then again, Doyoung probably hates everyone. He’s heard Doyoung mention countless of times that he hates anyone who half asses their job, and he’s sure Jungwoo is top of the list with Sicheng too.

”Totally didn’t use you because Doyoung was passing by,” Jungwoo opens the box and snatches up a donut for himself.

Donghyuck rolls his eyes in a playful manner, “Glad I could assist in you keeping your job one more day.”

Jungwoo snorts, “By the way your new roommate is here.”

”What?!” Donghyuck sputters over his donut, a cough ripping through his chest and burning his throat.

“Dude, you can’t die while I’m on duty,” Jungwoo jokes, shoving the donut in his mouth and using his dirty hand to pat his back. “Seriouslyareyouokay,” He mumbles over the food in his mouth.

”The killer,” Donghyuck wheezes. “Has entered the building.”

Jungwoo swallows the donut down, hand dropping in confusion. “The what?”

Donghyuck clears his throat, “We have this theory—“

”Who’s we?”

”Jeno, Renjun and I.” Donghyuck elaborates and Jungwoo scoffs.

”So just you and Jeno,” He corrects, and really, Donghyuck hates his RA for the constant slander.

“My new roommate,” Donghyuck ignores Jungwoo’s eye roll. “Is a killer from Canada.”

Jungwoo seems to pause, laughing in disbelief at his words. “Why is he here, enrolled in SMU then?”

Donghyuck stares back at Jungwoo and says in the most deadpan-ish manner, “He’s starting over, who would suspect a university student to be a killer?”

”You,” Jungwoo never misses a chance, Donghyuck almost drop kicks him if it weren’t for Jungwoo’s quick reflexes. “Careful! You’ll drop the donuts!” He scolds.

”Anyway, he’s a killer and he fled the country because of it.” Donghyuck stubbornly says, pointing his chin upwards in a superior manner.

Jungwoo scoffs, “You and Jeno watch way too much True Crime.”

”Every week, Wednesdays at 8,” Donghyuck uses his best movie trailer voice for a laugh.

When they both come down from the high of their laughter, Jungwoo smiles fondly. “He’s a sweet kid,” He points out, going back to the subject of their conversation and Donghyuck is intrigued again.

”Oh, do you know more about him?”

Jungwoo seems to think for a moment, eyes glancing up to the ceiling to recall his meeting Donghyuck’s new roommate. “Oh, wait, he did mention he’s a forensic major.”

Donghyuck’s face falls, “You’re kidding me.”

”Nope,” Jungwoo cackles in his face. “Though he did say he might switch to criminal justice.”

”That’s literally—“ Donghyuck’s mouth drops. “Why is he majoring in forensic?!” He grabs Jungwoo’s shoulders and shakes him.

”I don’t know?” Jungwoo replies back in a startled tone.

”Because he’s a genius Canadian killer that’s beating the system,” Donghyuck sounds like he’s convinced himself, even Jungwoo’s eyes bug out.

”What if his name isn’t even Mark Lee?” Jungwoo whispers, “What if he stole the identity of the person he killed in Canada?”

Donghyuck face twists, a cry on his lips as he buries his face into Jungwoo’s neck. “I’m going to die!”

”Donghyuck, you just smashed the donuts!” Jungwoo whines as the box remains snug into his chest.

Donghyuck only clings harder onto Jungwoo, “I can’t sleep there knowing a killer is staying with me.”

“Well you’re gonna have to,” Jungwoo grumbles, prying him off. “Mark Lee is here to stay for the rest of the year—“

”But—“

Jungwoo shoots him a sharp look before opening the box and scowling at the tattered donuts. “No buts, deal with your murderous roommate on your own time.”

 

* * *

 

After Renjun kicked him out of his dorm, Donghyuck heads to his room around twelve am with the intent to sneak into bed. His plan is to be in and out, sleep for five hours and wake up at the crack of of dawn, so that Mark Lee never noticed he was there. He hasn’t quite come up with the best approach to let Mark know he’s on his side, that he won’t alert the authorities, so this is his best bet.

Things never go exactly as planned for Donghyuck Lee though.

He opens his room, poking his head in to see the lights flickered off. He steps inside and immediately finds that Mark Lee has already set his stuff up, random posters on the wall and figurines messily scattered on his desk. Donghyuck walks to his side of the room, eyes focusing in the dark as he continues to eye Mark’s belongings. The bed is empty, the covers crookedly fixes like a normal nineteen year old boy had done it. Except Donghyuck is terribly smart, and he knows Mark is anything but a normal nineteen year old.

He hears the faucet in their restroom go off and he halts, nervously looking around at where to hide. He had expected Mark to be asleep already, planned how to get around them meeting for the first two weeks until Mark completely forgot he existed. In a way, this was Donghyuck’s way of telling him ‘ _hey man, I’ll stay out of your hair._ ’ He hadn’t planned for Mark Lee to come rushing out of the bathroom at 12:08 am, shirtless, specs resting on the slope of his nose and sweats hanging dangerously low.

He also hadn’t expected Mark Lee to be so fucking hot for a killer.

The moment Mark steps out, Donghyuck steps back to dart under his sheets, but instead successfully stubs his toe against the frame of his bed. “Ow, fuck!” Donghyuck cries out in pain.

Mark whips his head in Donghyuck’s direction, “Oh shit, I didn’t see you there.” He places a hand over his chest, “Don’t scare me like that.”

His tone is stern, Donghyuck’s heart rate picks up. “Won’t happen again, I swear.” He rushes out, sucking in sharply because his toe is still throbbing.

Mark walks over and flicks the lights on, they both squint in order to adjust. Donghyuck takes a look at him and almost hurls. Mark Lee is the sexiest man he’s ever had the privilege to lay his eyes on; it’s truly a blessing (or a curse?) that he’s also shirtless. He’s thin, but his body is lean and his stomach is defined, arms a bit toned enough to let Donghyuck knows he works out. If Mark Lee wasn’t out to get him, Donghyuck would be singing a praise, but even Donghyuck isn‘t a fool in the eyes of death for a handsome face and a structured body.

“Won’t happen again,” Donghyuck croaks out, nervously avoiding Mark’s huge orbs.

Mark, seeming aware now that he’s shirtless, flushes and picks up his shirt that he had discarded on the floor. He swiftly throws it over his head, Donghyuck has to hold back the snort that threatens to come out when he watches Mark struggle because the fabric has caught on the tip of his glasses. Mark's rosy cheeks tint a bit more at the failure, Donghyuck has to remind himself that he might be dealing with Canada's most wanted.

"It's cool," Mark says with a tiny, awkward laugh that sounds forced. He fixes his circular glasses up his nose and offers his hand, "I'm Mark Lee—“

"I know," Donghyuck responds quickly, immediately regretting the words once they've reach the other boy's ear.

It's only been possibly less than five minutes and Donghyuck has already fucked up on his first step to his own guide. Step one clearly states: act like you did not do a background check, you must not let your killer roommate know you are onto them. Donghyuck could only hope that Mark Lee was all looks and no brain because if this was Renjun, Donghyuck would already be five feet under.

Mark's jaw tenses and Donghyuck begins to shake, "It's just... well, um, Jungwoo gave me your name but I swear that's all he told me!" He lies to save his life, he's momentarily glad his mother forced him to take acting classes when he was younger.

Mark flinches at how Donghyuck's voice had progressively gone higher, "It's alright..." He pauses, squinting back at Donghyuck like he's odd. "Jungwoo told me your name was Donghyuck Lee."

Donghyuck wants to curse heaven and hell, but mostly at Jungwoo for giving out his name too. That quickly ruins Donghyuck's other plan, the one where he doesn't tell his killer roommate his actual name in case he's murdered and Mark decided to flee the country with his identity. He's going to have to talk to Jungwoo about privacy; he can only hope Jungwoo didn't give Mark any of his social media too like he had done to him. Donghyuck's guide can only help him survive if he's _one_ step ahead of Mark, not on the same starting point.

"Yeah," Donghyuck forces a smile to his lips. "I'm Donghyuck Lee," He repeats and he's almost certain the color in his face is draining at an alarming speed.

"Cool," Mark rocks on his heels. "He also told me you're a freshman studying aerospace engineering."

"What the fuck," Donghyuck deplores. Can't be beaten, Donghyuck opens his mouth to say, "Well he told me you're a forensic science major, but you're thinking about Criminal Justice."

"He told me you're from Jeju," Mark smiles when Donghyuck's mouth falls open.

He hisses, "What the fuck didn't Jungwoo tell you?"

"That you're cute," Mark mumbles to himself, but Donghyuck catches it fast.

 _Oh god,_ he moans to himself, is this really how he's going to go down? Death by killer roommate all because he called him _cute_ ? _No_ , Donghyuck is strong, he must be strong for his family and friends (although being friends with Renjun and Jaemin is debatable). He must be strong for his family, Jeno and for the money he's going to make after he receives his degree in Aerospace engineering.

"Um," Donghyuck swallows down a gulp, Mark flushes again and he tries not to think about it. "I'm going... to sleep," He awkwardly points to his bed, quickly slipping in and uncaring that he hasn't washed up or changed into comfortable clothes.

Mark stares at him for a brief second in wonder before shrugging and heading over to the light, "It was nice meeting you, Donghyuck, I've been _dying_ to ever since Jungwoo mentioned how funny you were." He smiles before shutting the lights off, leaving them in complete darkness.

Donghyuck hates his choice of wording, he slightly prays he can make it through the night. He pulls the covers all the way up to his chin and refuses to sleep until he hears Mark's breath even out across the room. Even then, Donghyuck doesn't get a wink of sleep, only running through Mark's words once again. _Dying,_ Donghyuck repeats to himself, yes he's currently dying.

 

* * *

  

"You look like shit," Renjun greets him two days later with a cheeky grin plastered on his face and a coffee in his hand as he sits in the seat next to him.

Donghyuck snatches it right up, ignoring the way Renjun growls at him to give it back. "I haven't slept in forty hours," He huffs once he's pulled the caffeine away.

"We can tell," Jaemin mentions when he takes a seat across of Donghyuck on the table, Jeno takes the seat next to him.

"Leave him alone," Jeno defends like the good friend he is. "You met your roommate, right?" He turns to Donghyuck with wide, imploring eyes.

Donghyuck winces at the mention of the killer, "Good news and terrible news."

"Good news, he isn't a killer," Renjun answers for him with a knowing smirk, "Bad news: he's hot."

Donghyuck grits his teeth at him, "Wrong, he is most definitely a killer, I don't care how hot he is."

Jaemin seems interested then, his brows wiggle in a shameless manner. "Oh? So your killer roommate is hot?"

"Yes," Donghyuck hisses at him. "He's _so_ fucking hot it's _deadly_ ," He snatches Renjun's coffee once more. "I am literally going to die and all you guys care about is that he's hot."

Jeno frowns, "I care about you, Hyuck."

Donghyuck moans over the rim of the coffee, quickly pushing it back into Renjun's side of the table and reaching over to place a hand over Jeno's. "I love you, what would I do without you?"

Renjun rolls his eyes at Donghyuck being dramatic yet again, "Why don't you just ask him why he moved from Canada to study in the US?"

Donghyuck looks at him like he's grown a second head, "Why would I do that?"

"Because you're curious," Jaemin defends and Donghyuck can't deny that he is. "Face it, Donghyuck, you kind of like painting this little scenario."

Donghyuck sputters at his words, "What are you even saying, Jaemin?" He's shell shocked. His best friends, except for Jeno, were idiots.

"Welcome to my dark twisted fantasy," Renjun jokes, fueling firing into Jaemin's gag. "I think that's a kink somewhere, being attracted to killers and all."

"This would explain why you like watching True Crime documentaries so much," Jaemin muses to himself.

Donghyuck can't believe what he's hearing, "Yeah, and so does Jeno, but I don't hear you guys shitting bricks on him about it."

"He's Jeno," Jaemin shrugs just as Renjun nods his head.

Donghyuck scoffs, mouth falling open at the unfair treatment. "I am _not_ attracted to a serial killer," He hisses at them. "I am intrigued by the psychology behind their actions, but I would never _ever_ date one—"

"Ok, relax," Renjun, sensing Donghyuck's hostile attitude bubbling, quickly pats the other boy's shoulder. "We're sorry, we just didn't think you were being serious about this."

"I am so fucking serious," Donghyuck pouts at them. "I haven’t closed my eyes for more than a minute around him because I’m so scared he was going to strangle me in my sleep."

Jeno's worried eyes widen, "That's really unhealthy, Hyuck."

"Why don't you just ask Jungwoo for a room change?" Jaemin decides to be helpful for once, but Donghyuck has already thought of every single possibility.

"I _have_ ," Donghyuck stresses. "Jungwoo told me to get over it. Besides, he mentioned he can't do anything because all the dorms are full and he would have to bring this up to Mark. I don't want to piss off the potential killer." He chews on his bottom lip, that would be the wrong move.

Renjun hums, "Listen I'm not saying he is a killer—" He pauses in order to find the right words. "—but if he is, you can crash at my place."

"Will Yangyang be okay with that?" Donghyuck looks up at Renjun with wide, hope filled eyes.

Renjun shrugs, "If he isn't, I don't care. I have to deal with Xiaojun staying over sometimes, so he can deal with you staying a few nights."

"You're also welcomed at my place!" Jeno smiles, eyes disappearing in such a welcoming manner. "Yukhei and I just set up his PS4 last week that he got for Christmas, all we do is play fornite."

Donghyuck places a hand over his chest at the kindness, he turns to Jaemin, expectedly. "I hate Guanheng," He shrugs, "So, yeah come over at three am if you want."

He wipes at fake tears, "I love you guys."

"Yeah, yeah, we love you too." Renjun grunts, but he's smiling and Donghyuck returns the look. "Seriously though, tell us about your roommate."

Donghyuck sighs, "He... he's weird," He starts as he recalls the memory of Mark. "He's got a lot of figurines, which isn't weird—it's actually super normal—but then he has these weird posters and worn down books and notepads that he's so secretive about. Also, he has a samurai sword, I don't know why the fuck he has it, but he does, and I think that's what he's going to kill me with."

"Has he told you anything?" Jaemin questions.

Donghyuck purses his lips in thought, "Just odd little things, like how he's been dying to meet me or how he’s obsessed with the human anatomy.”

"That could just be you stretching," Jaemin points out and Renjun mutters something under his breath how this whole situation being Donghyuck stretching.

"No, you guys have to meet him to understand." Donghyuck quickly shoos the comment away, "Did you know he's a forensic science major? Like what are the fucking odds."

"That's weird," Jeno acknowledges.

"Or just a coincidence," Renjun bites back his tongue from saying anything further.

Donghyuck shrugs, "Weird or just a coincidence, you can't deny that this doesn't help his case."

The table falls silent and Donghyuck gives them a pointed look in satisfaction. He's right and for once everyone agrees, "When can we meet him?" Jaemin asks.

Donghyuck thinks for a moment, "Tomorrow. I have something to do first."

Renjun furrows his brows at that, "Like what?"

“First I’m going to take a nap at your place, then,” Donghyuck smirks, joining his hands together to crack his knuckles as he recalls his plan. "I’m starting step two."

 

* * *

 

Step Two: Begin getting acquainted with your killer roommate, do not let them know you are aware of their intentions.

Getting acquainted with Mark Lee is proving itself to be a bit harder than Donghyuck had expected. Truly, he should have known this wouldn't go smoothly, considering he was dealing with a killer and all. He just hadn't expect for Mark Lee to be that secretive and keep to himself. He would have hoped that having his best friends around would make things flow a lot better, but Mark seems to have instantly shut down the moment more people joined the equation.

"I thought Leos were supposed to be a bit more outgoing," Donghyuck takes a jab at him while everyone else is busy grabbing their food, "You and Jaemin are so different."

"Oh," Mark dumbly responds, a flush spreading on his cheeks. "I'm kinda shy around new people, but your friends are cool!" He quickly reassures and Donghyuck squints at the act.

"Sure," He dryly says as they find a table where all five of them can sit. He makes sure to sit across of Mark, one seat down so they aren't exactly face to face. He'll have to force Renjun to take that seat in front of the killer.

Mark pauses, "Wait, how'd you know I was a Leo?"

Donghyuck tenses at the unexpected question. Truthfully, Mark had it on his old abandoned twitter, but he wasn't about to confess he did any snooping. "Um, Jungwoo told me," He says unconvincingly and Mark squints back at him.

Renjun takes a seat right next to Donghyuck then, unknowingly saving him from getting slaughter at right then and there. "Hello, I'm Renjun Huang. Freshman that's also doing Aerospace engineering because I crave death. Not a virgin, in case your wondering.” He quips at the end with a wink.

Mark, after finally registering the last bits of Renjun’s words, laughs and nods his head along. It's the first time Donghyuck has heard him laugh without it seeming awkward or forced. It's quite attractive, if he's honest with himself, the way Mark's adam's apple bobs and his cheeks rise as his shoulders shake. His laugh is quite distinct too. It starts slow and picks up speed, getting higher the more he thinks about the joke. His hands come up to clap too, seeming completely sold at the fact that Renjun is funny. Problem is, Renjun isn't funny, and Donghyuck concludes that Mark is a bit of a dummy for laughing so hard at something so unfunny.

“Jaemin Na, freshman and biochem major.” He smiles and takes a seat next to Mark, “Also not a virgin.” He confesses, Donghyuck watches Mark go back into a rage of laughter.

”Jeno Lee, I’m studying Physical therapy.” He smiles, and Donghyuck is grateful that Jeno isn’t humoring Renjun and Jaemin’s ploy against him.

“Mark Lee, forensic science major for now. I’m also a sophomore,” He pauses dramatically. “I’m a virgin.”

”You can’t be serious,” Renjun states in shock and Donghyuck himself can’t believe it either.

Jaemin’s eyes widen, “Do you want to fix that?”

Donghyuck reaches over the table to flick Jaemin’s forehead. “Sorry, he’s drunk—“

”No, I’m not—“

”I’m kidding!” Mark laughs again, curling up on himself, seeking proud of fooling them. “I’m not a virgin.”

“I wasn’t fooled,” Donghyuck mentions, trying his best to crush Mark’s glee.

Mark smirks back at him, “Hadn’t expect you to be.”

Donghyuck gapes at the response, Renjun stares between them. “Are you guys flirting right now?”

Mark instantly goes back to his coy persona, a blush on his cheeks and a smile on his lips that Donghyuck doesn’t trust. Donghyuck isn’t sure where his confidence goes when Mark Lee says or does things in similar sense to this. It’s only happened twice, once when they first met and Mark called him cute, and now here in front of his friends. It’s terrifying, Mark Lee is a skilled killer and charmer, Donghyuck Lee is really in for a kill with this one.

”Let the children be,” Jaemin flings a fry from his plate toward Renjun, which the other boy dodges. “So Mark, how’s SMU for you so far?”

”The first day was stressful,” Mark admits with a sigh of defeat. “Is it bad that it’s been almost four days and I don’t know where the library is?”

”No,” Jaemin gasps. “Donghyuck, why haven’t you helped him?”

Donghyuck reaches over abruptly to grab Jaemin’s shirt and bring him close to whisper harshly in his ear. “Because that’s apart of step three, stop ruining my plan, Jaemin.” He releases his shirt, pushing him back and ignoring the way Mark’s wide eyes stare back at him.

”Um,” Mark release a dry chuckle. “I also haven’t made many friends yet or joined any clubs.”

”Were you active in clubs back at your old University?” Donghyuck takes his shot then, eyes imploring.

Mark nods, “I was apart of the soccer team back there but when I transferred... um...” He pauses, “I just decided not to continue playing.” He rushes out.

”We suck at sports here anyway,” Renjun reaches over and pats his shoulder the same time Jeno huffs out a “hey!” because he’s on the swim team.

”What made you quit?” Donghyuck lifts his burger and takes a bite, expectedly.

Mark scratches the back of his neck awkwardly, “Stuff.”

“Stuff,” Donghyuck echoes, turning to share a look with Jeno, who’s sitting next to him on his right.

”What kind of stuff?” Jeno asks.

Mark swallows nervously, “Honestly, I was told I couldn’t play sports anymore because I was caught—“ He cuts his own self off, “Nevermind.”

”Caught?” Donghyuck repeats, eyes widening as if this were proof. Renjun and Jaemin shoot him an unimpressed look for his prodding.

“Yeah,” Mark tries his best to smile.

”Is that why you transferred?” Donghyuck wondered, “You needed to get away?”

Mark nods his head, “Part of it...” He coughs, “I’m just lucky things worked in my favor and I could have a second shot.”

”Wow,” Donghyuck sets his burger down. “You flee—I mean, move—to a different country because you got caught.” He puts emphasis on the word, watching Mark shift in his seat.

”That’s enough, Donghyuck,” Renjun sternly says.

Donghyuck zones in on Mark, “Can I ask what you got caught for that you had to transfer?”

This time, Jaemin flicks him across the forehead harsher than he had done to him. “I’m sorry, he’s drunk,” He repeats Donghyuck's earlier insult to ease the tension of the table. “Also, he has no fathom of respect and privacy.”

”Yes, I do,” Donghyuck hisses back.

Renjun scowls, “Then prove it, Donghyuck.”

Jeno, sensing an incoming argument, tries his best to be the mediator. “How about we drop the conversation? Mark, have you thought about joining any clubs? Anime club is always accepting members.”

Mark chuckles, “Maybe I’ll check it out.” He says, “Thanks Jeno.”

The rest of their lunch goes fine after Donghyuck apologizes for prodding so much. Perhaps he shouldn’t have cornered Mark so soon and in front of a crowd like he had. Mark only smiled, waving him off and letting him know it was alright. However, Renjun and Jaemin’s glare, plus the coil in his stomach were clear indicators that it was not okay.

Mark leaves first, having an English class at two p.m. that he has to attend and he can’t be late. Renjun takes it upon himself to scold Donghyuck when he’s out of earshot, and truthfully Donghyuck knows he deserves it.

(“Why don’t you tell Mark about how your parents almost kicked you out for sneaking in a boy into their home your junior year of high school?” Renjun snaps at him, and Donghyuck gasps at him.

”Why would I tell him that?” Donghyuck slams back in defense, unconsciously proving a point.

Renjun makes an aha! noise, “Exactly, because it’s personal, you don’t just prod into someone’s personal life.” He pauses to rolls his eyes, “Especially someone you just met that you’re worried about being a killer.”)

Donghyuck admits he’s wrong, and that rarely happens. He concludes he would have to make it up to his killer roommate next time they have the chance to hang out. This was only just to ensure they’re on good terms so Mark doesn’t strangle him in his sleep. He convinces himself that it’s not because he truly felt bad and wanted to make it up to Mark.

 

* * *

 

Donghyuck gets a chance the next week, on a Saturday, when he knows Mark doesn’t have a single class occupying his time. Mark had been pretty busy his first two weeks at SMU, learning where all his classes where and finding a proper balance to school work and social life. He had also made a friend in his History class that he hung out with on the weekend, causing Donghyuck to put his blog and guide on hold.

When a spot opened up, Donghyuck took it. He had walked into his dorm, expecting to see Mark’s side of the room empty, only to find the boy on his bed watching a movie. He had his attractive specs on again, comfortable clothes on as he threw his head back and laughed. Donghyuck seized the moment and walked right up to Mark’s bed, waiting patiently for the boy to look at him. Mark’s wide eyes had turned to Donghyuck expectedly, Donghyuck had stuttered out how he wanted to show Mark the city. Mark’s eyes lit up and he nodded, hopping of his bed and asking when they were leaving. It benefited Donghyuck, he tries to tell himself for the fiftieth time when Mark gets dressed in front of him. Oh yeah, Donghyuck thinks as he stares at Mark’s ass in his boxers. It definitely benefited him.

Apart from the bonus treat of seeing Mark walk around in boxers to find clean jeans, Donghyuck also gets to start on step three of his guide. His blog was still up and running, rolling in a good number of twenty followers that thought his blog was hilarious. Donghyuck took the praise, but made sure to let the comment section know he was serious, only to receive a chorus of hahaha! back at him. Although a joke, he still made made sure to update his blog post with his new step he had thought of on the spot.

“Step three: Help your killer roommate as much as you can. Not in the sense of killing a person, but more so in their social life, so that they begin to trust you and let their guard down.” Donghyuck reads to himself in a whisper as Mark flushes the toilet in the restroom. “Will update you all on my experience,” He types out.

He submits his update when Mark comes out of the restroom, hands wet from washing them and an excited look in his eyes. Donghyuck shuts his laptop when Mark gets closer, “Ready?” He asks the boy and Mark nods.

They take Donghyuck’s car outside of campus parking and into the college station around them. Mark can’t contain his excitement, gushing about this being the first time he’s ever stepped foot outside campus. He makes Donghyuck blush when he comments offhandedly how he’s glad he did it with his roommate of all people. Donghyuck tries to contain his heartbeat, slamming the breaks a bit to hard at a stop light when Mark looks at him for too long.

The whole ride, he becomes hyper aware of how Mark sometimes looks in his direction. Mark’s forearm comfortably resides on the armrest, while Donghyuck had opt to driving with two hands although it’s awkward for him. He doesn’t want to risk their hands touching of forearms rubbing against one another in fear of Mark tricking him into being comfortable around him, he tells himself. The moment he lets his guard down, it’s over for him, he tries to reason but he quite likes the idea when Mark laughs at his jokes or plays Donghyuck’s favorite song on the aux because he too, loves that song.

Mark’s cologne fills the car too, Donghyuck begins to think that’s what is fogging up his will to reason properly. “—I hate that anime.” Mark’s nose scrunches up cutely once they’ve pulled up to a Donghyuck’s favorite ice cream parlor.

”I’m offended!” Donghyuck parks in car and finally turns to look back at Mark. “Sword art online was ahead of its time, you’re all just haters.”

Donghyuck turns off the engine and they both hop out of the car, shutting the door behind them. “It was lame,” Mark states with a giggle.

Donghyuck squawks, “Did you at least watch the entire season before you judged?”

Mark flushes at the question. There he goes, Donghyuck thinks, looking pretty. “I watch three episode, but that was enough.” He confesses as they walk towards the entrance.

”Get back in the car,” Donghyuck jokes, “I’m taking you back to the dorms.”

”Not after I get my ice cream,” Mark laughs, rushing over to open the door for Donghyuck.

Donghyuck smiles back at him, “And they say chivalry is dead.”

”Not yet,” Mark winks, having one of his moments where his confidence beams out suddenly, leaving Donghyuck’s brain to melt of any actual comeback.

They walk up to the cashier register in comfortable silence, Mark marvels at all the flavors. His face twists when he reads odds one like ‘boner comet’ and Donghyuck laughs at his reaction when Taeil, the parlor owner, tells him it’s an orgasm waiting to explode in his mouth. Mark has another fit of laughter at the dirty joke, this time Donghyuck joins in because Mark’s laugh is just so damn contagious.

”I’ll have the blueberry blaster and chocoball on top,” Donghyuck tells Taeil with a smile.

Mark stares at the blue and brown junk of ice cream on his cone that Taeil is scooping up. “Does that taste good together?” He asks near his ear, suddenly right behind Donghyuck.

Donghyuck shutters at how close he is, turning his head slightly to look over his shoulder. Mark’s already staring back down at him, eyes patiently waiting as his long lashes flutter up and down when he blinks. Donghyuck feels his mouth dry up and the snarky response in throat die down. Mark Lee is so close and so tall. He’s only a couple inches taller than he is, but it’s enough to make Donghyuck’s stomach churn. It also doesn’t help that Mark is terribly attractive and with the personality straight out of a trope. He thinks Mark might be the embodiment of what everyone desired their first high school boyfriend to be like—aside from the potential killer criminal part.

“It... good.” Donghyuck, having his neck still craned, looks away from Mark’s lips and up at his eyes.

Mark, still standing behind him and staring down at him, chuckles softly. “It good?” He repeats, teasingly.

Donghyuck huffs, cheeks red as he turns back to Taeil. “You know what I mean,” He grumbles.

He can see Mark beam from the corner of his eye, “I’ll have the same!” He chirps when Taeil hands Donghyuck his cone of cavities and an impending sugar rush.

They pay for their own cones, though Donghyuck had thought about offering to pay for Mark's. He quickly shut down the idea, immediately worried that Mark, his killer roommate, would somehow take his nice gesture the wrong way. Donghyuck Lee was no fool (except he was). He was aware he was attractive; having nice legs, a perky ass that boys like Mark Lee would fawn for a piece of, and with unique facial features. His lips curled in a natural pout, and once in the third grade, Jaemin told him his voice sounded like honey. So in order to avoid Mark Lee falling for him, Donghyuck chose the safer route of scrummaging in his pocket for his debit card before Mark got the chance to be confused.

"There's a river down the street," Donghyuck licks at his cone, eyes trained on Mark. "Do you wanna go?"

Perhaps he shouldn't have asked because the look Mark gives is _murderous._ Donghyuck completely forgot who he was dealing with, his crazy killer roommate that fled the country. This would be too easy, Mark Lee could drown him and no one would know about it until his corpse resurfaces, floating up to shore of someone's beach house in Mexico. Donghyuck knows rivers aren't beaches, but the thought still makes his brain short-circuit.

"I would love to," Mark smiles, cheeks high and the corner of his eyes fuzzy. Donghyuck is going to die, he's not sure if it's from Mark Lee's knife or his _smile._

"Follow me," Donghyuck mumbles over his ice cream, he makes sure to throw a look at Taeil on his way out.

"What?" Taeil calls back, squinting at Donghyuck. "I'm not your caretaker Hyuck, I don't have any condoms—"

Donghyuck flushes at the door, turning his eyes to find Mark already laughing. "I have never once asked you for condoms, I know you don't get laid." His pitch gets higher the more he speaks. "I'm making eye contact in case Mark Lee drowns me at the river!"

"Oh," Taeil dumbly responds. "Well, have fun!"

Mark follows him out, calming down from his high only when they've crossed the street. "I'm going to drown you at the river, huh?" He snorts thinking Donghyuck is joking.

Donghyuck Lee is certainly not joking, but of course he wouldn't tell his potential murderer that. "It was a joke," He forces out a laugh, "I would never think you're going to kill me."

Mark chuckles, but his heard turns slightly in a confused manner that Donghyuck finds cute--even for a killer. "Why did Taeil assume you need condoms?" Mark questions, bringing up his cone of ice cream to mask his curiosity.

"Lots of people hook up here at night," Donghyuck replies as he licks his cone, making the mistake of meeting Mark's eyes when his pink tongue darts out.

Mark gulps, "Oh," He says attractively. "Nice.”

"Don't be so scared," Donghyuck rolls his eyes with a coy smile on his lips. "I'm just showing you around, Lee."

"Too bad," Mark mumbles over his cone, Donghyuck's heart does that thing where it goes straight into cardiac arrest. Except nothing about how Mark is licking his ice cream is straight, Donghyuck really wonders what it's like to be on the receiving end.

"Too bad?" Donghyuck echoes; his mind races quick to the condoms Renjun keeps stashed in his glove compartment.

Mark flushes again, his confidence having seem to disappear. "I never said that," He clears his throat, looking away.

"I have you on tape," Donghyuck jokes back, hands sweaty and body flushing hot.

Mark snorts, "I'll kill you." He says and suddenly Donghyuck goes cold.

 _Oh yeah_ , Donghyuck tells himself, _Mark Lee is a killer._ He tries his best to force out a laugh so Mark doesn't know he's on to him. He playfully reaches over and hits his shoulder, accidentally whacking Mark too hard because the other boy whines in pain. Still, Mark has a dumbstruck smile on his face that sends Donghyuck into overheat.

"Want to throw rocks?" Donghyuck sputters out, uncaring that his ice cream is melting into his hands.

Mark smiles back at him, "I would love to."

Donghyuck short-circuits again. Cause of death: not Mark's ax, though he wishes it was, but Mark's fucking existence as a whole. He can hear Renjun and Jaemin laugh in his ear, he thinks this might be his karma for all the times he's bullied Renjun about fawning over his hot English professor, Mister Qiao. Either way, Mark Lee is pretty to look at, and that is is enough to send Donghyuck in a fit of flutters.

 

* * *

 

 

It's been a month since Donghyuck last updated his Blog. He's been busy studying for his tests and then actually self loathing when he catches himself getting lost in tracing the lines of Mark's back instead. He has broad shoulders, he notes, and he’s never realized how possibly attracted he was to that. Mark Lee is fucking attractive, Donghyuck can not deny that. He recalls the first night they met, Mark Lee being shirtless with his specs hanging low on the slope of his nose, sweats that gave a clear outline of what Mark _packed_. Donghyuck wishes he could see more of that Mark, but the other boy has opt to keeping his shirt on these days (sadly).

Aside from that, Mark has also been rather busy. He had finally made friends outside of Donghyuck and actually started getting invited to things. Donghyuck won't say it out loud, but he misses his crazy killer roommate, even if Mark could potentially wake up one morning and slaughter him to pieces. That doesn’t stop Donghyuck from acknowledging that he misses hanging out with his regularly.

("I think you like him," Jeno tells him one afternoon after Donghyuck has finished complaining that Mark has ditched him. _Again._

"No," Donghyuck hisses back. "It's just crucial that I know what he's doing at all times. What if he's plotting my death?" He pauses, "Or worse? He already killed two people—where is Renjun and Jaemin?"

Jeno shrugs, "We saw them three minutes ago, Hyuck."

"Still," Donghyuck crosses his arms over his shoulder.

"I could potentially be _saving_ your life."

Jeno hums back, "I still think you like him."

"Well, you got a D in Geology," Donghyuck stubbornly snaps back, "You don't have any rights!")

After his first exams, which he did ace, he logs back into his blog to find that it's completely skyrocketed with attention. He has about a hundred new comments, one of them from SMU's police station and one from Renjun calling him a dumbass (Donghyuck reports that one). All in all, people _love_ his ongoing gag of living with a murderous roommate. Donghyuck takes a couple minutes to laugh at his life, he too would have thought it was a joke if it wasn't his given reality.

Truth be told, Donghyuck doesn't quite think Mark killed someone and fled from Canada with their identity. It’s no secret that Mark’s past is a little odd, but Donghyuck puts his trust in the government that they wouldn’t let a killer roam freely in society. He keeps the joke running though, only because he loves the attention he's receiving from the University's blog website. He even heard the University's radio speak briefly about a popular blog post named "Donghyuck's guide to surviving a hot, killer roommate." He gets his own section in the school newspaper and a great amount of twitter following when he links his twitter on his latest blog update.

It was all fun and games, Donghyuck thought. Which is why, when Mark Lee finally gives him the time of day again, he goes instantly into step four.

Step Four: Assert your dominance with your killer. Let your killer subtly know that they should not kill you and you will not let them by flustering them.

His bright plan that he documents on the blog is to fluster Mark as much as he can. By doing that, he’s pushing Mark into a corner, giving him a taste of how assertive he can be when it comes to his life. Which concludes why Donghyuck comes out of the restroom, naked and without a towel, droplets running down is tan skin while Mark sits on his bed in shock. He’s completely exposed with everything on display, but Donghyuck has never developed the ability to be shameful. Truthfully, it was a dumb idea, but at this point, Donghyuck is both trying to shake his killer off and send a message. _This could be yours but you’re playin_ , Donghyuck had wanted it to say, _this could be yours if you weren’t trying to literally murderer my ass_.

”I—“ Mark starts, cheeks tinting red as his eyes drop from Donghyuck’s eyes to his, _well_ , his crotch.

Donghyuck pays him no mind, he’s confident and comfortable with his body and proportions. “I know,” Donghyuck smiles at him, “I’m hot shit.”

Mark sits up on his bed, “You are.” He agrees, pushing up his glasses as they fog up. “I could have just gotten you a towel, you know.”

Donghyuck smirks when Mark’s eyes don’t leave his bottom half, “Yeah.” He cheekily replies, “I’m asserting my dominance in this room. Thou shall _not_ be eaten, thou shall _eat._ ”

”What does that even mean?” Mark moans, looking up at Donghyuck like he’s about to be sick. He’s sweating a bit, but the room AC is on, so Donghyuck know he’s the real reason behind Mark’s stress.

”I don’t know,” Donghyuck walks over to Mark’s closet and begins to look through his clothes. “I came up with it in the restroom like a minute ago.”

Donghyuck slips on some random boxers briefs, aware that Mark is watching his every move. He makes sure to act like he isn’t bothered because he isn’t, he’s gotten the hint that Mark Lee wants him. He can’t blame him, besides, Donghyuck wants Mark for himself too. They go back and forth a lot, either Mark starts a flirt fest or Donghyuck drags it on. It usually ends with one of them being tongue tied, rushing to back against the a wall on an opposite end because it’s suddenly too hot to be around each other. Donghyuck thinks it’s fun; a nice little game he and his roommate have started that neither want to finish.

Donghyuck walks over and picks out a soft, black crew neck from Mark's drawer. “I’m borrowing this,” _Assert your dominance_ , He repeats to himself.

Mark licks his lips in awe, “Yeah, go ahead.” His reply sounds absolutely dumbfounded as he stares at him put on his t-shirt.

”I think this is my new favorite shirt,” Donghyuck says as he pulls the hems of the slightly bigger shirt down to examine it.

”You can keep it,” Mark, eyes still intensely focused on him, smiles. “It looks good on you.”

It’s a plain t-shirt, Donghyuck knows his plan is in effect. “Thanks,” He turns to look at him with a smirk.

Mark looks up at the ceiling, something similar to a silent prayer. “You’re _killing_ me, Donghyuck.” He bites his lip, looking back down at him.

Donghyuck leans against his drawer with a smug look, “How am I killing you?” He fires back innocently.

”You know how,” Mark furrows his brows at him, eyes intense behind his glasses.

Donghyuck snorts, “I don't.” He looks down at Mark’s legs hidden under the cover, “Or maybe I do.”

”I’m going to slaughter you,” Mark rushes out, cheeks going read once more and chest heaving.

Donghyuck smirks, just what he wanted to hear. “You can’t kill me,” He crosses his arms over his chest. “I won’t allow it.”

”You’re right,” Mark nods his head, “But I won’t go down without a fight.”

”You and me both.”

”I guess we’ll have to wrestle it out then,” There’s a smirk on his lips, Donghyuck doesn’t miss his suggestive tone.

”You would like that, wouldn’t you?” Donghyuck clicks his tongue, an amused expression on his face.

”I would,” Mark agrees, “As would you.”

Donghyuck hums back, “I would.”

Mark smiles darkly at him, “I’m always one step ahead of you though,” He muses with a mighty look.

Donghyuck raises a brow at that, “You’re wrong, Canada.”

”Is that so?” Mark’s tongue darts out a bit in thought. “I did flee the country—“ He stops suddenly, eyes turning serious.

Donghyuck furrows his eyes at him, “You what?”

”Nothing,” Mark clears his throat, throwing his legs over the bed. “I’m taking a shower.”

Donghyuck watches him pass by, “I’m on to you, Mark Lee.” Donghyuck makes the mistake of saying, he hears Mark stop in his tracks.

”How so?”

”Just know,” Donghyuck pauses to throw dramatically over his shoulder, “You might have everyone fooled, but not me—“

Suddenly there’s a toned chest pressed into his back, clenching hands on his hips  and lips ghosting near the shell of his ear. “Don’t tempt a killer, baby,” Mark whispers in a seductive manner. “You’re bound to get yourself buried alive.”

He’s gone before Donghyuck can say anything. All Donghyuck hears is Mark’s laughter behind the shut door of the bathroom, the water running and the ringing in his ear. What the fuck? Donghyuck squawks to himself. Mark Lee must know about his blog, unless this wasn't a coincidence and Mark truly murdered someone back home. Either way Donghyuck can’t deny that was incredibly attractive of Mark to do; this is truly how he falls out of touch with himself.

 

* * *

 

“Mark and I are going to the movies next Friday," Donghyuck picks up a french fry to munch on it, "Kinda nervous he's going to detour and stab me to death."

Renjun rolls his eyes at the last bit of his sentence, "It's a date."

"Casual roommate bonding," Donghyuck corrects with a scowl, but his ears are turning red at the mention of a date with Mark.

"Isn't this like your second date?" Jeno questions out loud, Donghyuck regrets telling him about the ice cream parlor day.

Jaemin whistles, "Oh ho ho," He sits back in his chair in a smugly manner. "I knew you liked him."

"No," Donghyuck hisses back at him with a roll of his eyes. "I only hang out with him so much because it's a good opportunity for me to get some snooping done."

Renjun scoffs, "How's that working for you?"

 _Not well,_ Donghyuck's inner voice cackles back at his misery. All they do is flirt back and forth, Donghyuck is beginning to lose his mind. "Very well actually," He sarcastically snips at Renjun, "I'm starting step five soon."

"Oh right, you still run that thing." Jaemin pulls out his phone to update himself on Donghyuck's blog.

"Dude, where have you been?" Jeno kicks Jaemin's leg under the table. "Hyuck's blog is popular right now! Everyone wants to know who Hyuckster69’s mysterious hot killer roommate is."

Renjun nods his head in acknowledgement, "I logged in to write a hateful comment and saw hundreds of other people's comments."

"I'm going to block you from commenting ever again," Donghyuck glares at the boy across of him.

Renjun shrugs his shoulders with a taunting look in his eyes, "I'll just make another account."

“You love to see me fail,” Donghyuck clicks his tongue in annoyance.

”It’s a kink of mine,” Leave it to Renjun to never miss a beat.

Jaemin pauses to collect his thoughts, “So you’re famous now?”

”Not me,” Donghyuck stresses, “My blog is.”

Jeno shoots Donghyuck a look, “You linked your twitter in your profile though.”

”Tomato tamato,” Donghyuck waves him off.

”I can’t believe you’re exploiting your sexy roommate like this,” Jaemin says, but he sounds in awe, almost like he’s acknowledging his power. "You get Mark Lee while I get Guanheng, life is unfair."

Donghyuck smiles as if that were an accomplishment, “You’re getting a real kick out of this, aren’t you?” Renjun, always eager to tear him down, says with a shit eating grin.

”I’m not,” Donghyuck’s face twists. “Yes, he’s hot, but no, I’m not trying to die.”

”Face it,” Jaemin starts and Donghyuck really wishes he would never finish. “You like him, and you like the attention this is bringing you.”

”Yes to both,” Donghyuck replies honestly and their eyes snap wide open. “I don’t like him like that though.”

”Bullshit,” Renjun grits, a look in his eyes that clearly tells Donghyuck that he doesn’t believe a thing he says. “You’re attracted to him, sexually and romantically. This blog is just some sick foreplay—“

Donghyuck slaps a hand over his mouth, “I hate you.” He sneers when a couple people eye them weirdly as they pass.

Renjun licks his palm and Donghyuck retracts his hand in disgust. “I agree with Renjun,” Jeno pipes up, and today Donghyuck has lost another soldier. “I don’t think Mark could ever hurt a fly.”

”He’s secretive, he has a weird twitter account, he’s studying forensic science, he keeps telling me he’s going to kill me—“

”All very normal things,” Jaemin points out and Donghyuck scowls.

”He’s weird,” Donghyuck concludes, crossing his arms over one another in defeat.

Renjun shrugs, “That doesn’t mean you can’t bed him or at least make out.”

Donghyuck watches Jeno and Jaemin nod their head in agreement to Renjun’s words, leave it to his best friends to be nothing but honest with him. They’re right, Mark seems like he would never hurt anyone purposely, let alone kill an actual person. Donghyuck knew this too, after living with Mark well over a month, he realized what a nerd he was. A hot nerd though; there was no denying that Mark was blessed with it all.

Donghyuck sighs, turning up to look at his friends for a sign of help. “I’m doomed,” He moans.

Jaemin’s mouth slowly turns up as a laugh begins to bubble, “The only murder that Mark Lee is gonna commit is on your a—“

 

* * *

 

They take Mark’s car to the movies, and it’s the first time Donghyuck has ever been inside his 2016 honda. The car fits him, Donghyuck takes notes of all of Mark’s driving habits. He speeds up when he’s distracted because he’s too busy talking rapidly about something that had happened in his childhood or a common interest they have. He slows down when Donghyuck is talking, keeping his eyes on the road but his ears perked to let him know he’s listening. He plays good music, stuff that Donghyuck hasn’t heard before, but he likes the vibe it sets in the car. He also drives with one hand, and Donghyuck is a sucker for the muscles that flex on Mark’s arm when he tries to turn the steering wheel.

Hanging out with Mark Lee is never dull. He’s charming, he’s witty (but nothing like Donghyuck), and he always has a story to tell. Donghyuck’s learned a lot about him in the time they’ve driven from the dorm to the movie’s parking lot.  He learned that Mark’s got an older sister, who’s a shocking ten years older, that lives in London with her girlfriend. He learns that Mark’s parents got divorced when he wasn’t only seven, but that didn’t shock him because he was raised with a lot of love and support from both parties. Mark even mentions a couple of his old friends from back home, claiming to miss a few, but also mentioning the one’s he ended up having bad blood with.

Mark Lee sounds fairly normal. Just a kid who grew up in Vancouver with an older sister, two parents and a dog. It sounds like he just decided one day that he was going to transfer to a whole different country and start fresh. Donghyuck knows that Mark is leaving a few bits and pieces out of his life, but he doesn’t push it.

They get their tickets and slips inside, only then does Donghyuck notice that they’ve been holding hands. Donghyuck's not entirely sure who made the first move ( _liar,_ he tells himself, _you purposely sized his hand up at the concession stand),_ but now their fingers are locked and Mark Lee won't let go. Not even when he had to grab the popcorn and drinks—that his hot roommate paid for—did Mark let go of his clammy hand. In the end, Donghyuck had to take the popcorn while Mark picked up the cup holder that had their slushies snug tight inside.

"I think you're going to have to let go of my hand," Donghyuck whispers to him with a smirk as they walk up the stairs of the movie theater room.

Mark, who was leading the way, turns to look at him over his shoulder. "Are you asking or demanding?"

"Neither," Donghyuck mumbles, but Mark snorts cutely from having heard his confession.

They make it to their seat just fine, hands still locked and popcorn sitting snugly between Donghyuck's thighs. "I hope you like slasher films," Mark whispers in his ear.

Donghyuck turns to catch the gleam in his eyes, "We're watching a slasher film?" He pops some popcorn in his mouth.

"It one of my favorite genres," Mark winks. "I've always wondered what it would be like to kill someone," He says in a low tone, turning to look at the screen in excitement.

Donghyuck chokes on his popcorn, "What?"

"A killer," Mark repeats, flickering his eyes back at Donghyuck. "Don't you wonder what it would be like to kill someone?"

Donghyuck's feet goes cold, "No?"

"It's fun," Mark slips up, quickly clearing his throat. "I mean, it _looks_ fun."

Donghyuck breathes in deeply from his nose, blood running cold as he breaks out into a sweat. In the middle of their date, Donghyuck thinks, he's just confirmed that Mark Lee did in fact kill someone in Canada. He basically just confessed to Donghyuck right in the damn movie theater as the lights go low from the trailers playing. The odd part is, Donghyuck from a month and half ago, would have jetted out of that place in a single beat. Today, Donghyuck sits in his seat, heart hammering and mind racing at what to do. Would Mark Lee kill him? Donghyuck hates himself for wanting to find out.

"You okay?" Mark asks innocently, squeezing his hand tighter as his wide eyes examine him. "You look constipated."

Donghyuck sucks in a sharp breath, "I'm fine, just a little scared." He motions his other hand to the movie screen as an excuse.

Mark nods his head, releasing his hand to throw his arm over his shoulder. "Don't worry," He smiles sweetly. "You don't have to be scared when you're with me."

Donghyuck takes this sweet talking as a sign of fate telling him that Mark would never actually kill him. That doesn't stop Donghyuck from sweating at what to do with all this information. He's completely locked himself a serial killer that has proven on many cases to have a thing for him. Donghyuck does what he knows best, he snuggles into Mark's side and shoos away his thoughts until he actually has to deal with them.

 

* * *

 

"Why are you updating your blog now?" Renjun rolls his eyes as he sits on Jeno's bed, "Shouldn't you be making out with Mark your-hot-killer-roommate-that-likes-you Lee?"

"I will," Donghyuck squints his eyes determinedly at the screen. "After I post step five of my guide."

Jaemin snickers, "I can't believe making out in Mark's car at the river after your date made you suddenly flip a switch."

Donghyuck pauses to stick the middle finger at them. "I judged him too quickly," He goes back to typing on his blog. "Maybe it was an accident or maybe he had to do it in order to ensure his safety."

"Or maybe it didn't happen at all," Renjun states.

"No," Donghyuck shakes his head, finally finishing his last sentence. "You guys should have been there, he basically confessed."

"Knowing you, he probably didn't say anything remotely close to confessing he's a killer and you're just dumb."

"Fuck off, Jaemin," Donghyuck tells him over his shoulder as he presses _'save and post'_ on his blog. "I've updated!"

Jeno presses pause on his game, "What's step five?"

"Confrontation," Donghyuck stands and stretches. "I'm going to get him to tell me the truth, and then we can discuss how this will affect our future relationship."

Renjun claps his hands sarcastically, "How do you do it?" He tilts his head in mockingly surprised manner.

Donghyuck ignores him, "As long as he doesn't kill any more people we're fine."

"This is just proof that everyone would die for Mark," Jaemin says.

Donghyuck nods his head, “I guess you’re right.”

”You really are a changed man,” Jeno muses with a smile, turning back to play his game.

”Is what Mark Lee serving really that good?” Renjun wiggles his brows and Donghyuck reaches over to grab one of Jeno’s pencils from his desk to throw it at him.

”I’m leaving,” He logs out of his blog account and shuts Jeno’s laptop. “I’ve got to confront _my_ killer.”

Jaemin, who’s blowing cool air into Jeno’s ear in order to distract him, waves blindly at him. “Have fun!”

”Text us later,” Renjun says with a smile that Donghyuck matches before he steps out of the dorm room.

The good thing is Jeno stays on the first floor of his dorm hall, so all Donghyuck really does is head towards the elevator. He looks down at his wrist, where his Apple Watch always stays snug, and checks the time. It’s only thirty minutes past eight, which means Mark might be coming back to the dorm around eight after working out with Yukhei, Jeno’s roommate who not surprisingly kicked it off well with. That gives Donghyuck about thirty minutes or so to come up with a proper way to confront, or at least, address Mark’s situation.

”Hyuckster69!” Donghyuck turns instinctively at the username to find Jungwoo smirking back at him. “You millennials...” He shakes his head.

The elevator dings and Donghyuck places his foot by the doors, “What’s up?”

”Haven't seen you around, thought Mark actually killed you.” Jungwoo shrugs, reaching into his pocket to pass him a gum.

”No thanks,” Donghyuck, who has seen Jaemin dig up weeks old candy from his pocket, declines nicely. “Nope, I’m alive.”

”I see,” Jungwoo pops the gum in his mouth. “Why do you still update your blog anyway?”

”You keep up with it?”

Jungwoo rolls his eyes, “How can I not? Every time I’m trying to have sex with Jaehyun, you miraculously update.”

”Wow, you must be not having sex that regularly.” Donghyuck takes a jab back at him.

”Yeah, it’s a problem.” Jungwoo, having such a carefree personality, only shrugs. “I don't see you getting your muffin buttered either—“

Donghyuck flushes, “Why is everyone so adamant about the fact that Mark and I haven’t slept together yet?”

”Who said anything about Mark?” Jungwoo smirks smugly, chewing his gum in a lazy manner. “Jaehyun’s going to love this. He keeps reading your blogs and he’s convinced you’re in love with your roommate—“ He stops chewing, “Well I mean, I guess he is right.”

”Wow, wow, wow,” The elevator dings and Donghyuck moves it foot so that it can open again. “Who said anything about love? I _like_ Mark, emphasis on the like.”

Jungwoo shrugs, “Jaehyun read your ice cream and movie date experience to me.” He shoots Donghyuck a look, “There’s love there.”

”There could be potential love,” Donghyuck agrees and Jungwoo clenches his fist in an _yes!_ manner. “We aren't even dating yet; _oh my god,_ am I moving too fast?”

“I don't know,” Jungwoo shrugs once again, and Donghyuck deems his RA useless once more.

The elevator doors move to shut once more and Donghyuck finally slips into them. “Would love to stay and chat, but if you were a _real_ fan, you would know I’m commencing step five of my guide.”

Jungwoo shoots his eyes open, “No wonder Jaehyun hasn’t texted me back.” He pauses, “Will I be in your updated post later?”

”Maybe,” The door begins to shut at the same time Donghyuck says, “I’ll mention how my annoying RA wasted ten minutes of my time when I could have been thinking of the proper words to say to my killer.”

Jungwoo sticks his head to the side so that Donghyuck sees him one last time before the doors shut. He smiles, “Make sure to link my twitter!”

 

* * *

 

When Donghyuck unlocks his dorm door, he finds that the room is exactly how he had left it, except for one thing. The lap that sits in the corner of their dorm is on, the light is dim giving the room an eerie vibe to it. He hadn’t recalled leaving the lamp on, but he doesn’t pay it any more time than he thought he should. He flickers the lights on and steps inside, taking notice of Mark’s messy bed. Perhaps Mark had left it on when he came back from class to put on his gym clothes, Donghyuck tries to reason to himself.

The bathroom door suddenly swings open and Donghyuck jumps back in shock, hitting his door against the wall. Mark looks up at the noise in alarm, a towel in his hands as he roughly wipes at his hands. They share a look of surprise, perhaps having thought that they were both alone in the dorm room.

One of Mark’s hands emerges from under the black hand towel. He pushes his circular lenses up, “I didn’t know you were here, Hyuck.”

Donghyuck still his back pressed to the door when he says, “I thought you were at the gym.”

”The what?” Mark questions in alarm. Donghyuck freezes at his expression, Mark quickly take notice. “Ah, the gym! Yeah, I was at the gym.”

”You’re not in your gym clothes...” Donghyuck mumbles out, heart racing in his chest.

Mark looks down at his outfit. It’s the same one he wore to class, Donghyuck had seen him leave this morning. “O-oh,” Mark stutters.

"You look sick, Mark," Donghyuck says, licking his dry lips.

Mark shakes his head, "I feel fine."

Donghyuck examines Mark's disheveled manner, noting how his dark brown hair is matted to his forehead. His cheeks are painted a pretty pink, glasses slightly smudged with fingerprints. There's a stain along the rim on his circular glasses that are an unsettling shade of red. Donghyuck looks down then to see that Mark's exposed hand is tinted a bit pink, a clear indication that he has tried to wash whatever got on his hand _off._

Donghyuck looks up at his face and blinks. Mark blinks back, and that's when Donghyuck notices the tiniest of splatters of red on Mark's neck. If Mark hadn't been who he was, Donghyuck would have thought he looked insanely sexy right now with his disorganized clothes and his glasses perched, stains on the rim.

"Mark," Donghyuck swallows hard. "What did you do?"

"What do you mean?"

"I-Is that blood on your neck?" Mark's hand quickly slaps along his neck, smearing the tiny splatters across his throat.

"No," Mark laughs, nervously. "I was just painting, that's all."

Donghyuck grips the door's knob tighter at the lie, "In the bathroom?"

"Yes—“

Suddenly Mark's closet door flies open and out drops a body face forward. Donghyuck jumps at the sound, mouth flying open to scream in alarm, but Mark's already there to stop it. Donghyuck feels Mark's hand press tightly into his mouth, muffling his screams as Donghyuck grips the door and stares down at the lifeless body that just fell from Mark's closet. And the body is in fact _dead._

There's blood all over the body. Their white shirt soaked from where Mark has committed his crimes, Donghyuck feels his stomach churn at the sight. He doesn't know who it is because their hair is in the way and their head is facing the opposite direction of them. Donghyuck cries into Mark's hands, feeling himself begin to gag from the sight. The body is dead, and Donghyuck isn't aware how long it's been hiding away in the closet. It's evident that Mark had been cleaning up his mess before Donghyuck returned; Donghyuck feels sick at the information he's gathered.

"Stop shouting," Mark's gruff voice rings in his ears as Donghyuck's eyes remain on the dead body. "Stop shouting or I'll kill you, Donghyuck." Mark lifts up his samurai sword in his free hand, Donghyuck hadn't even realized he had it with him.

Donghyuck wails behind Mark's hand, the nerves getting the best of him as his heart jumps out of his chest. He feels like he's going to pass out any moment now. Mark instantly pats his cheek to get him to wake up and snap out of it. Donghyuck blinks his eyes rapidly awake, turning back to look at the body and screaming once more into Mark's palm.

"Donghyuck," Mark says carefully as he presses into his mouth a bit tighter. "You can't tell anyone about this, do you understand?" He demands.

Donghyuck nods his head rapidly behind the grip, his heaving breaths echoing in the silent room.

Mark smiles sweetly at him, "You gotta be quiet, okay?" He whispers, pressing his face closer to Donghyuck's.

Donghyuck nods once more, eager to listen so that he isn't one of Mark's next victims.

Mark places his samurai sword down and guides Donghyuck towards his bed. Donghyuck feels the mattress along his knees, Mark pushes his shoulders down and Donghyuck takes a seat. He looks up at Mark when he's sitting, swallowing down at how intensely Mark is staring back at him. Slowly, Mark releases his hand from Donghyuck's mouth.

"You were right about me," Mark tells him, as he steps back and proudly showcases the dead body. "I'm a serial killer."

Donghyuck clamps his lips shut tight, holding back a scream the best he can.

Mark takes a seat next to him, "You have to help me."

"W-What?" Donghyuck croaks out, eyes nearly popping out of their socket as Mark runs a stained thumb over his jaw.

He flinches and Mark frowns, "You saw the body and you knew I was a killer, you're just as in trouble as me."

Donghyuck knows realistically Mark isn't all right, but he does know he _did_ know Mark was a killer and he chose not to report it the moment he had confessed. Donghyuck feels like he's going to be sick all over again.

"I-I'm scared," Donghyuck stutters out, stomach dropping as he loses feeling in his hands.

Mark smiles again, sweetly. "I told you, you don't have you be scared when you're with me."

Donghyuck shakes his head, finally feeling tears well up in his eyes. He can't go to jail, he can't become a serial killer's boyfriend, this life was not cut out for someone like him. He's meant to graduate after thirty years of schooling, finally settled down and eventually adopt two dogs. Donghyuck was suppose to have a white picket fence, not a jail cell and an inmate that pees where they're not supposed to.

"I c-can't," Donghyuck sniffs.

Mark frowns once again, only this time it's deeper. He stands, walking over to his samurai sword and picking it up, staring back at his reflection that glimmers. "That's too bad," Mark's voice is dark and murderous, the same tone any villain uses before they commit their crime.

Donghyuck squeezes the sheets in his fist as Mark walks closer, "Please, Mark!" He cries, "I promise I won't say anything! I swear I'll never bring this up again!"

Mark lifts the sword, "You had your chance with me, Donghyuck, and you blew it." He says cruelly.

Donghyuck closes his eyes as Mark's arms reach back over his head with the sword. He expects it to be quick and fast, hoping Mark has the decency to spare him the pain and slice straight through neck. What he doesn't expect is to hear Mark Lee's laughter and the sound of the sword dropping to the floor. Donghyuck slowly peels his eyes open to the sound, noticing that there's another familiar, muffled laughter coming from across the room.

Donghyuck stares up at Mark's shoulder shaking and his cheekbones rising. "What the fuck?!" Donghyuck screeches back at him, causing Mark to laugh harder.

"Man, we got him good!" Another voice pipes up and Donghyuck turns to see Yukhei, blood splattered over his face and clothes, laughing as well.

"What the fuck?!" Donghyuck shouts again, this time he's angry.

Mark chuckles, slowly coming down from his high. "How's that for an unexpected experience on your blog?"

Donghyuck pauses, cheeks slowly deepening scarlet upon the mention of his blog. "How do you know about that?" He sputters out, clearing his throat and sitting up straight.

Yukhei chuckles, "Jeno told me and I told Mark."

Donghyuck's eyebrows shoot up in betrayal: he's going to _kill_ Jeno Lee. "So you knew all this time?" Donghyuck shoots his eyes to Mark in rage.

"Hey, I should be the one mad at you," Mark raised a pointed finger. "Also, no, I found out around the time of our ice cream date."

"Oh," Donghyuck dumbly replies. "What's up with your twitter then?"

"What about it?" Mark questions back. "You never asked for it."

"Jungwoo gave it to me, marklee99." Donghyuck stands, hands on his hips as if he were proving a point. "You had a ton of super fucking weird tweets and photos."

" _Ah,_ " Mark seems to click everything in place, probably connecting how this whole thing originally started. "I used to be a soundcloud rapper," Mark blushes at his past. "Those tweets were just lyrics I thought were cool. I stopped using that account after I got hacked, my new twitter is mark_lee."

Donghyuck finally calms down, having reached a conclusion to the twitter situation. "And your transfer?"

"That," Mark echoes back, scratching the back of his head. "I guess that one is kinda my fault for being so secretive, but this guy I used to know stashed cocaine in my locker one day at practice and my coach found it. I got kicked off the team and I decided to transfer, a fresh start."

"Oh my god, that's so unfair." Yukhei says just as Donghyuck gasps.

"I'm an idiot," He buries his face in his palms.

Mark still kindly reaches over and pats his back, "Yeah, you are." He smiles light, "You're lucky you're cute."

Donghyuck whines and removes his hands from his face, "I swear I'm going to make this up to you, Mark. I'll go delete my blog right now—"

"You don't have to," Mark, the angel, giggles softly. "I thought it was funny, and everyone on campus does too."

Donghyuck groans again, "I'm sorry." He shoots Mark a sincere pair of eyes, "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

Mark begins to cage on him then, "Maybe there is." He smirks, leaning in close and tapping his lips. "I've been wanting to make out again since the last time."

Donghyuck's eyes instantly flicker in a coy manner, " _Oh,_ " He breathes out, taking a step back and sitting on Mark's bed again. "Well what's stopping you?"

Mark bites his lips, walking over to the bed just as Yukhei yells, "I am _still_ here!"

Mark, already half way on top of Donghyuck, looks over his shoulder at his new best friend. "Can you shut the door on your way out?"

Yukhei lets out a huff of disbelieve before he purses his lips and heads for the door. "Yeah, sure," He grumbles on his way out, but not before he peers back at them to see Donghyuck's hand disappear into Mark's pants.

 

* * *

 

 

"I knew Donghyuck was just a dumbass," Renjun shakes his head at Donghyuck, who is practically sitting on Mark Lee's lap in the dining hall.

Donghyuck rolls his eyes, "Yes, yes, I'm a dumbass. Can we move on?"

Mark pats his back comfortingly, "It's okay, we can't all have common sense."

Jeno snickers and Donghyuck slits his eyes at him, "You're the worst, Jeno. How could you tell Yukhei about the blog?"

"I mean he was bound to find out, Donghyuck," Jaemin, the saint, comes to Jeno's defense.

Donghyuck frowns back at him, Jaemin was right and they all knew it. "Today is such a great day," Renjun sings. "Not only did we prove Donghyuck _wrong_ , we also proved that he's a dumbass."

"You love this," Donghyuck hisses back at him in manner that let's Renjun know he thinks he's despicable.

Renjun winks back at him, "Of course I do." He replies in an arrogant tone, Mark has to hold Donghyuck down from reaching over and strangling him.

"Are you guys dating yet?" Jeno raises a brow when he watches Donghyuck settle back down in Mark's lap.

Mark shyly laughs, "We haven't discussed it yet."

Renjun gives them a once over, "We can clearly see there hasn't been much talking..." He points at his own neck to emphasis the fact that Donghyuck and Mark's neck is covered in hickeys. "It's been one day...”

“This is college,” Jeno likes to remind him.

"It was long overdue," Donghyuck defends, leaning back into Mark's chest without shame. "Our tension? People could write novels about it."

Jaemin's lips curled in disdain, "That's gross, please spare us the detail."

"Well, last night we—" Donghyuck starts, but Mark quickly slaps his palm over his mouth with an apologetic look at Donghyuck's friends.

"We are not speaking about this," Mark replies almost a bit sternly, ears pink. Renjun rolls his eyes at the pair, at least one of them had the nerve to be embarrassed of talking about their hookups.

Donghyuck playfully bites at his fingers and Mark quickly pulls away, a spark running up his spine. "Yes, sir." Donghyuck cheekily replies, leaning in to teasingly run his nose along Mark's before pulling back.

"If you guys start making out, I'm leaving." Renjun states, faking a gag when Mark chases after Donghyuck's lips.

"Then leave," Donghyuck replies cruelly just as Mark finally presses their lips together.

Donghyuck can hear his best friends groan, the sound of chairs screeching against the floor and plates clattering. Jaemin mumbles something under his breath about how they're being gross in the dining hall, but Donghyuck refuses to properly hear him. Instead he curls his tongue inside Mark's mouth, pleased with the taste of Mark's peach tea still lingering behind. Mark grips his hips, eyes shut tight and head turning slightly to press further into the kiss. His tongue flicks teasingly against Donghyuck's and the other boy marvels at how great of a fucking kisser he is.

Donghyuck feels one of Mark's hands snake into his hair, softly cradling his head. Donghyuck presses a bit more harder, enjoying the moan that Mark slips into his mouth when their lips part slightly. Donghyuck retracts his tongue after a while, pulling back slowly to kiss Mark's soft, plush lips a couple more times. He softly moves his lips, capturing Mark's upper lip between his as he places a gentle palm on his cheek.

Donghyuck smiles, "I have class." He mentions against Mark's lips, but his tongue still comes to swipe at the other boy's bottom lip.

Mark groans, "Yeah, I know." He mumbles against Donghyuck's mouth, leaning forward to peck Donghyuck's lips one last time before pulling away. "I have to meet Yukhei in a bit," He pouts.

Donghyuck leans into nip at his bottom lip, "We can hang out after." He promises once he's pulled back.

“Yeah, definitely...” Mark smiles and pats Donghyuck's hip to signal him to stand, "We also need to talk."

Donghyuck stands, "About?" He asks as they pick up their plates, instinctively reaching for Mark’s hand to interlock their fingers.

"Us," Mark blushes at the word and Donghyuck can't help but lean in and kiss his cheek.

“You already know I want to be your boyfriend.” Donghyuck thrives on the color of Mark’s cheek only tinting darker.

Mark licks his lips, “I know, but I still want to talk about it.”

“Hurry back so we can talk—" Donghyuck pauses and leans in to teasingly whisper in Mark's ear, "And then _fuck_ —"

"Donghyuck!"

 

* * *

 

 

_(New blog post by hyuckster69!_

 

Blog title: My boyfriend is a sexy vampire?)

 

**Author's Note:**

> never did i think i would write something cracky (???) BONUS it's a 14k markhyuck but i did!
> 
> wanna thank sam for beta-ing because she's always got my back, love her!! wanna thank the random inspo i got to finish this?? (seriously, i have not been able to finish anything in MONTHS and suddenly i dig up this fic in my drafts and decide to give it a run and im actually done? SHOCKED.JPEG)
> 
> also wanna thank my girlfriend renjun for hating me since day one <3 lov u, gf! ps: i miss hyuck
> 
>  
> 
> [my curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/lustsick) ♡ [my twitter](https://twitter.com/nahyuck)


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